I feel like the questions, worries, and fears that plagued me for so many months have finally been answered.
I'm entering a new chapter in my life - and in some ways revisiting an old one.
I'm going to be a teacher again!!!!!
For those of you who may not know me well, this is a big deal. It's been 3 years since I worked as a teacher in early childhood education. I loved so many things about teaching, and I loved my students. I always felt that teaching was my gift. But my first position was very difficult in a lot of ways. When I packed up my classroom and walked out the door, I didn't necessarily plan to teach again anytime soon. But 9 months ago, just before we moved to CA, I started feeling the pull to return to the profession. It came in the form of thoughts in my head, feelings in my heart, and even a few dreams.
I resisted. HARD. A huge part of me could not get past the memories of guilt, inadequacy, and stress that I associated with past teaching experiences. And the thought of job hunting again really depressed me, since I had hoped to be at home with kids by now. The ever-present, haunting question, "what am I supposed to do with my life?" overwhelmed me as I tried to think of some other path to pursue. But the whispers and the tugging continued. I couldn't shake the feeling that these promptings were from my Heavenly Father.
When we arrived in Oregon, I stalled for two weeks getting the house unpacked and organized. Finally when I ran out of excuses to sweep the floor and dust the piano, I reluctantly opened up Craigslist and started the job search. (Actually, Michael was very sweet and found the first posting for me as a jumpstart.) There were a lot of tears. My heart was not in it yet.
Fast forward about a week, and I'm sitting in an interview for the Learning Loft Preschool in downtown Medford. I'm chatting with the program director, listening to her describe the facility and the position, and I feel something stirring inside me. It's like I'm opening up a long-lost favorite book and shaking the dust from the cover. I feel excited. I feel happy. I feel like I could throw myself into this and absolutely love it. And I realize that I'm actually feeling passionate about something again.
I'm now sitting here at the end of my first week of training. Those feelings I had during my interview have not only been validated, but multiplied! I've loved every minute of it. I've loved getting to know my coworkers, learning the ins and outs of the children's museum, making plans for my future classroom, and especially the hands-on experience interacting with kids during preschool summer camp. I already feel like I'm part of a family here. I feel privileged to be part of such an amazing endeavor. And in three and a half weeks I will officially open the doors to my new classroom.
This is Kristal, my awesome teaching partner. And this is the space we are going to transform into a beautiful classroom. (Actually, the entire preschool staff is going to work together to transform 4 classroom spaces!)
I may not have intended to teach again, but now I can see that God was leading me to this all along. He knew better than I did what I needed. And this is EXACTLY what I needed. I am grateful for the opportunity to use my brain in a way that fulfills me, to channel my creative energies into a worthy effort, to collaborate with an incredible team and, most importantly, be a positive influence in the lives of the kids.
I guess this really has been my dream job all along.
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